The highly sensitive child

To a highly sensitive child, everything can seem larger than life. They experience intense emotions, and they may react strongly to situations that seem ordinary to others.

How to recognize a highly sensitive child

Highly sensitive children pay a lot of attention to what’s going on around them, what they’re feeling, and how others feel. They are easily affected by their experiences, the emotions of those around them, and the things people say. As a result, they are often overwhelmed by their emotions and may have strong emotional reactions to various situations.

Being highly sensitive is a normal personality trait. It is not a defect or a disorder. It is a fairly common characteristic, present in 15 to 20 percent of the population.

High sensitivity can manifest in various ways. For example, a highly sensitive child may:

• Cry or have outbursts that seem excessive for the situation
• Have a low tolerance for frustration
• React strongly to change and new situations, because there’s a lot of new information to process
• Be highly sensitive to conflict, other people’s perceptions, and criticism (e.g., they may cry when someone tells them they made a mistake)
• Struggle to make decisions because they consider many factors before making up their mind
• Be shy and nervous
• Spend longer than others observing things or situations before acting
• Have a strong need for calm
• Be more sensitive and easily overstimulated by noise, smells, light, and textures
• Show great empathy
• Be highly creative
• Be highly intuitive
• Display leadership qualities

What causes hypersensitivity in children?

High sensitivity is linked to temperament. Temperament determines how a child behaves, reacts, adapts to situations, and handles their emotions. Temperament is present from birth; in other words, it’s partly hereditary.

That being said, a child’s temperament is also influenced by their environment. The care they receive, their parents’ mental health, their interactions with others, and even their mother’s experiences during pregnancy can all affect a child’s temperament.

Children are like little sponges—and this is all the more true for highly sensitive children. Thus, they may be more negatively affected (e.g., anxious or depressed) if they live in a difficult, violent, or neglectful environment. On the other hand, hypersensitive children who grow up in a caring environment where they feel understood may benefit even more than other children.

How can you help your highly sensitive child?

It’s normal to sometimes feel impatient, irritated, or powerless in the face of your highly sensitive child’s strong emotions and behaviours. However, they have a deep need to feel understood and accepted as they are. Here’s what you can do.

• Acknowledge your child’s emotions without judging them. For example, if they’re crying a lot, you can comfort them, give them a hug, and wait for them to calm down before asking what’s wrong.
• Teach them to recognize their feelings and put them into words. Ask questions like “Are you sad because your friend left?” or “Are you angry because you don’t like your drawing?” Helping them put their emotions into words makes it easier for them to manage their reactions and express what they’re going through.

• Reassure them that their reactions are normal and that you understand. This helps them accept their emotions and sensitivity. For example, if they cry a lot after a difficult day at daycare, you could say, “I can see you’re having big feelings right now. That’s normal—you weren’t in your usual classroom or with your friends today. I know changes like that aren’t easy for you. Come here, let me give you a hug and help you calm down.”
• Maintain a calm attitude to help temper your child’s emotions. When they seem overwhelmed, staying calm reassures them and can help modulate their reaction.
• Give them strategies for managing their emotions. Discuss these strategies when your child is calm so they can remember and use them when they feel overwhelmed. For example, show them how to take slow, deep breaths while expanding their belly. Remember that younger children, especially those under 6 or 7 years old, may struggle to apply these strategies when their emotions are running high.
• Prepare your child for changes. When possible, avoid taking them by surprise. Discuss transitions in advance: for instance, starting daycare, switching to a big kid’s bed, or sleeping over at a grandparent’s house. Let them bring a favourite blankie or stuffed animal with them to ease the transition.
• Provide moments of calm. A highly sensitive child can become overwhelmed by noise and stimulation. They may need quiet time: for example, playing alone after daycare. Learn to recognize early signs of overstimulation, like restlessness, impulsivity, irritability, or fatigue. That way, before they have a tantrum, you can have them spend a bit of time in a calm space. It may be helpful to set up a designated quiet space at home where your child can go to calm down.
• Give your child the time they need to adjust to new situations, without rushing them. Highly sensitive kids often need more time to observe before they engage, as their brains are processing more information. However, avoid overprotecting your child; they need new experiences to grow and build confidence.
• Teach your child to view their sensitivity as a strength. For example, explain that being sensitive to what they experience, and what others experience, is a good quality. This helps them understand themself better and interact positively with others by comforting, helping, and sharing.
• Manage your own emotions effectively (e.g., fear, sadness, frustration). This way, you can avoid passing your emotions on to your child or making them feel responsible for your anger, sadness, et cetera. By managing your own emotions, you’re also acting as a role model.

When should you consult a doctor?

In general, taking a caring approach as a parent helps children regulate their emotions and manage their hypersensitivity. However, if your child’s high sensitivity is preventing them from functioning well (e.g., in daycare, at school), it’s a good idea to seek help. The same applies if you’re the one who needs help because your child’s intense reactions are overwhelming you.

Professionals trained in psychoeducation or psychology can assist children experiencing challenges with adaptation and emotion regulation. Professionals trained in occupational therapy can help with problems related to sensory hypersensitivity or hyperreactivity.

Things to keep in mind

• A highly sensitive child may react intensely to situations that seem trivial, because they’re highly aware of what they feel and what others feel.
• Hypersensitivity is a personality trait. It is not a disorder or a defect.
• You can help your child reduce the intensity of their reactions by accepting them as they are and showing them how to regulate their emotions.

Scientific review: Hélène Fortin Lachance, psychoeducator Research and copywriting:The Naître et grandir team Updated: March 2025

Photo: GettyImages/SolisImages