Children and moving

Moving is often stressful for the whole family. It’s a big change that can be particularly tough for kids, because they don’t always understand why they have to move. However, there are things you can do to make moving less stressful for your little one.

Why is moving stressful for kids ?

Moving is a big change for a child. They have to cope with a lot of uncertainty and new things, which can be stressful. Here are some of the things can make your child feel worried:

• Not understanding what’s going on (e.g., why your family is moving, why their belongings are in boxes) and what’s going to happen next.
• Being sad about leaving behind the people and places they know: their house, bedroom, daycare, school, sports team, and friends, for instance.
• Worrying about the situation that prompted the move. For example, a separation, the arrival of a new baby, or a new job for one of their parents.
• Feeling stressed because they see that you’re stressed. You may also be exhausted or impatient because of all the things you need to take care of for the move, which can make it harder to focus on your child.
• Having trouble imagining what it’s like to live somewhere else, especially if they’ve lived in the same place since they were a baby. Since kids’ brains aren’t yet fully developed, it can be hard for them to grasp abstract concepts like living in another house or city.
• Feeling lost after changing environments. In their new home, for example, rooms and objects are no longer in the same place, there may be new furniture, the smell is different, and outside the landscape has changed.
• Experiencing difficulty adapting to the changes brought about by the move. For example, they might miss their grandmother if she no longer lives nearby and they can’t see her as often as before.

Preparing your child for the move

It’s normal for kids to feel sad about saying goodbye to the people and places that were part of their everyday life. They may also worry about how their life will change in their new home. Will they like their new bedroom ? Will their new educator be as nice as their old one ? Will they make friends at their new school ? Here are a few ways to help your child through this big life change :

• Plan and organize your move as much as possible. This will make you feel more in control and less stressed, thus in turn making your child experience less stress.
• Talk to your child about the move a few days before they start noticing changes around the house. For instance, before taking your child to visit your new home, before you start packing, or a few days before you put upa “for sale” signin front of your house.
• Tell your child what to expect. Explain why you’re moving. Ask them what they think about it and how they feel. For example, you can say, “I’m sad about leaving our house, but I’m excited to take you to the park in our new neighbourhood.” If you moved when you were a kid, tell them about your experience. You should also talk to them on moving day so they know roughly what to expect.

• Encourage your child to ask questions about what’s worrying them and what’s going to happen.
• Play “moving” with your child with boxes and a toy truck. Play helps children explore the emotions brought about by big changes (e.g., sadness, fear, excitement). This may encourage them to talk to you about it.
• Read them books about moving. They’ll see that other people go through the same thing as them and share their emotions. It’s a good idea to read them stories about moving before you tell them that they’ll be moving. This will give them an idea of what to expect and might help them see moving in more of a positive light.There are also moving-themed activity books that you can complete with your child to help them through the upcoming changes.
• If possible, take your child to visit their future home and neighborhood before you move. You can also visit your child’s new school or daycare while you’re in the area. It’s a good way to help your child get familiar with their new environment and feel less worried. You can also point out that while some things will change, lots of things will stay the same.
• Communicate with the staff at your child’s new daycare or school. Ask them about how your child is settling in. You can also take this opportunity to tell the staff more about your child.
• Encourage your child to help with moving preparations (e.g., putting their toys in a box). This will make them feel more in control. It’s also a good time to put together a box of pictures and mementos that remind them of their old home.
• Try your best to stick to your child’s usual routines for meals, bath time, and bedtime. These familiar routines are comforting and will make the transition easier for your child. With younger children, it’s also best to wait a while after the move before weaning or potty training.

Planning for moving day

• Get a babysitter to make the day go smoother, as you won’t have a minute to spare. However, keep in mind that it can be helpful to have your child present for part of the move (e.g., watching boxes be carried out of the old house or into the new house), as this can help them understand what’s happening. They might be afraid of losing some of their belongings or try to open boxes to get their toys. Reassure your child by saying they will get all their belongings back in the new home.
• Remind your child how the day will go, either the day before or the morning of the move. Tell them who they’ll be with and where they’ll go. You should also explain to them what you’ll be doing while you’re gone and when you’ll pick them up. Don’t hesitate to call your child a few times throughout the day to let them know how things are going.
• Put together a first night bag with all the essentials you’ll need right after you move in : clothes for everyone, snacks, your child’s favourite toys and security blanket, toilet paper, soap, towels, and a first aid kit.

• Set up your child’s bedroom first, so they can find their toys, stuffed animals, familiar-smelling blankets, etc. With little kids, it’s best to keep the furniture and decorations in their room as close to their old room as possible, as this will help them feel secure. Otherwise, make sure to warn your child that some of their furniture will be different. If they’re school-aged, they might enjoy helping decorate their room, too. This can help them feel like their room is truly theirs.

Helping your child adapt after the move

• Be patient and listen, even if you have a lot of things to do. Your child needs time to mourn the loss of their old home. Children will always be affected by a move, especially if it’s the result of a separation or a job loss. Help them put their emotions into words.
• Temporarily lower your expectations for child. It may take a few weeks for them to fully adapt. They might be more needy, wake up more often at night, get stomach aches, or start wetting the bed again. Every child will respond differently. They’ll start to feel like themselves again once they’re secure in their new environment.
• Maintain a stable routine as much as possible. This will reassure your child and help them get used to their new environment.
• Play with your child in your new home to help them explore their environment in a fun way.
• Visit places in your new neighbourhood with your child and do fun activities together (e.g., play in the park, go to the pool or the library). This will help them build positive associations with the move.
• Try to introduce changes little by little. For example, it can be hard for a toddler to move on a Saturday and go to a new daycare the very next Monday. If possible, wait a week after the move before bringing your child to their new daycare centre. Of course, if they’ll be going to the same daycare as before, this won’t be a problem, since it’s already a safe place to them. You can also wait a day or two after the move before your child starts at their new school if they’re overwhelmed by all the changes. But don’t wait much longer than that, or they may feel even more anxious about school.
• Stay receptive to your child’s experience with the changes in their life (e.g., new house, new daycare, new school) to reassure them. For example, encourage your child to talk to you about their emotions after their first day of school. Let them know that you’re there to support them. Keep in touch with daycare and school staff to find out how your child is adjusting.
• Do activities that will help your child make friends in their new environment. For example, you can make a habit of playing at the neighbourhood park or sign your child up for a group activity (e.g., swim lessons, soccer, or dance).

Things to keep in mind

• Moving is a stressful event for a child because of the many changes it causes in their life.
• Telling your child what to expect, inviting them to ask questions, and taking them to visit their new home and surrounding area will help prepare them for the move.
• Even if you get a babysitter during the move, it’s a good idea to let your child see part of the move so they can have a better understanding of what’s going on.

Scientific review: Annie Goulet, psychologist Research and copywriting:The Naître et grandir team Updated: March 2025

Photos : GettyImages/blackCAT and AleksandarNakic