By Amélie Cournoyer

“Neurodivergence,” “neurotypical,” “neurodiversity” … You may have heard these words before without knowing exactly what they mean.

Neurotypical refers to people whose brains develop and function like most people’s brains do. Neurodivergence, on the other hand, refers to brains that develop and function differently. It includes, among other things:

• Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Developmental language disorder (DLD)
• Learning disabilities (dyslexia, dysorthographia, dyscalculia)
• Developmental coordination disorder (DCD)
• Tourette Syndrome

As for neurodiversity, it’s the idea that diversity between human brains is natural. “It’s like differences in height. There’s an average, but some people are shorter and some are taller,” explains neuropsychologist Marie-Josée Caron.

Why are we hearing more about neurodivergence recently?

If the word neurodiversity sounds new to you, that’s partly because it is. “In the past, we would talk about ‘special needs children’” says Stéphanie Deslauriers, a psychoeducator. But this term is falling out of favour. “These children have the same needs as anyone else: To be acknowledged, included, valued, respected, and loved. They just need to be met in a different way,” she continues.

This means that neurodivergence isn’t a disease. “It’s a way the brain develops from birth. The goal isn’t to ‘cure’ the child. It’s to try to understand them so we can support them more effectively,” explains Caron.

And if you’re hearing more about neurodivergence only recently, it’s in part because science has advanced and screening methods have improved. “There aren’t more neurodivergent children than there used to be. But we can identify them earlier and we understand them better,” Caron continues.

Signs of neurodivergence

Neurodivergence can affect one or more aspects of a child’s development, including the following areas:

• Physical and motor (e.g., delayed walking, difficulty handling objects, clumsiness, difficulty planning or reproducing certain gestures or movements)
• Cognitive (e.g., impulsivity, difficulty regulating emotions, short attention span or hyperfocus, excellent memory, and heightened creativity)
• Social and emotional (e.g., social interaction differences, withdrawal, parallel play)
• Language (e.g., not speaking by the age of 18 months or, conversely, speaking at a very early age, difficulty articulating or producing sounds and words)

Sensory differences may also be present, such as hypersensitivity to noise, textures (clothing, food), or light, or continuous seeking of intense sensations. Sometimes, the first signs appear in early childhood. Sometimes, it is only when children start school and begin learning more specific subjects that these challenges become more apparent.

Podcast: Two psychoeducators offer parents guidance and strategies for supporting their children (in French)

Neurodivergent children may have trouble sitting still or, conversely, may seem lost in thought and withdrawn from others. They may struggle with social interactions and following directions. “In preschool, we also often see limitations when it comes to autonomy. Some children still need help with potty training,” says Claudia Maillé-Parent, a preschool special education teacher Marie-Favery elementary school.

However, neurodivergence doesn’t only come with challenges. Depending on the child, they may also exhibit a strong sense of curiosity, excellent memory, heightened creativity, or a keen eye for detail.

Present from birth

“Neurodivergence is present from birth, but its signs appear gradually as a child grows up,” explains neuropsychologist Marie-Josée Caron. It sometimes takes parents a while before they consider the possibility that their child is neurodivergent. Early signs may seem like personality traits or normal variations in development. This also explains in part why it can take some time to obtain a diagnosis.

But keep in mind that not every behaviour that seems unusual in a young child is a sign of neurodiversity. “A single isolated delay doesn’t mean much on its own,” says Caron.

Not just a temper tantrum

The behaviours of neurodivergent children are neither tantrums nor the result of bad parenting. “Before the age of 5, tantrums are somewhat of a myth, for neurotypical and neurodivergent children alike. What may seem like a tantrum always stems from a real need on the part of the child,” says Anouk Brière-Godbout, a social worker.

However, the methods that work with a neurotypical child (to calm a tantrum, for example) don’t always work with a neurodivergent child. “Many parents find themselves at a loss. They don’t understand why none of the advice they’re given works with their child,” she continues.

At 19 months old, Lysanna knew all the letters of the alphabet. “At 3½ years old, she was already starting to grasp first-grade concepts on her own,” says her mom, Jessica.

As for 5-year-old Léonie, she’s been hyperactive ever since she was a baby. Her twin sister, Constance, on the other hand, is often daydreaming, and she struggles with hypersensitivity (to clothing and loud noises, among other things). “It really is like two completely different worlds,” explains their mother, Laurence-Aurélie.

Arnaud, age 5, was diagnosed with ASD last year. His parents think he might also have ADHD. “He’s a little ball of energy. He’s always climbing, running, and moving around. But he isn’t aware of the risk,” says his father, Philippe.

These four children have one thing in common: they have trouble regulating their emotions. “My daughters work hard at daycare to deal with overstimulation and regulate their emotions. They want to meet the expectations of their educators. But at the end of the day, all that pent-up tension comes pouring out.

Léonie starts running all over the place, while Constance withdraws and sits down with her thumb in her mouth,” Laurence-Aurélie reports. Philippe experiences something similar with his son, Arnaud, who also feels overwhelmed when he gets home. “He just shuts down.”

Little Lysanna, age 4, acts younger than her age when she’s tired or overwhelmed. “She stops using her words to communicate, crawls on all fours, licks things, and puts her foot in her mouth.” She also has intense meltdowns. “She might bite us or herself, hit us, or throw things at our faces,” says Jessica.

Stress, fatigue, and other hurdles

Raising neurodivergent children can be a challenge. As a result, parents often feel anxious, confused, and uncertain. “We often wondered what we were doing wrong with Arnaud,” says Philippe, who has three other children ranging in age from 15 months to 6 years.

Stress and fatigue are also part of everyday life. It took Laurence-Aurélie a while to figure out why she was always running on empty, even though other parents assured her they were going through the same thing at home. “I realized that I was going through the same things they were, but in a much more intense way,” she said.

Jessica is on medical leave. “Our daily lives are incredibly complicated,” she says. “Just when it comes to the morning routine, I can never predict how it’s going to go or what time we’ll actually manage to get out of the house.” “When you have a neurodivergent child, you become their caregiver as well as their parent,” Philippe explains.

Even though daily life can be challenging, many parents gradually gain a better understanding of their child and how best to support them.

The comparison trap

Parents often instinctively compare their child to others. This is even more true for parents who see that their child is developing differently.

“But it’s complicated, because we’re comparing our entire experience with our children to snapshots of other people’s lives. Maybe our kids look just like the other kids at the park, but in reality they have a thousand more meltdowns at home,” says Laurence-Aurélie.

Social worker Anouk Brière-Godbout cautions: “Sometimes, parents develop expectations based on what a neurotypical child should be able to do. Then, if their child can’t do it, they think there’s something wrong. But these expectations aren’t realistic for their child.”

Comments that can hurt

Children who act differently than their peers may attract all kinds of comments. “At a family gathering, one of my uncles said, talking about my son: ‘You can always make him laugh because he’s a little slow.’ It was extremely hurtful,” Philippe recalls.

Parents of neurodivergent children also often receive unsolicited parenting advice from those around them.

“I call it ‘misguided kindness.’ These people mean well, but their advice isn’t helpful,” says psychoeducator Stéphanie Deslauriers.

In fact, it actually reinforces feelings of inadequacy, which many of these parents are already dealing with. Laurence-Aurélie can attest to this: “You try everything people tell you to do: You try to stay calm, you try to be firm, you try to negotiate. You see that nothing is working, and you feel incompetent.”

A parent who feels judged may change their behaviour to meet the expectations of those around them, even if they know that their child’s needs won’t be met. “This means that the way others view the situation can directly affect the quality of interactions between a parent and their child,” says Anouk Brière-Godbout.

What should you do if you encounter a child whose behaviour seems odd to you? “The best thing to do is to smile at the parent and ask them: Is there anything I can do for you?” says social worker Anouk Brière-Godbout.

Remember that you don’t know the reason behind their behaviour. Laurence-Aurélie offers her thoughts: “Think about the worst experience you’ve ever had as a parent in public. Then keep that in mind when you see other families with children.”

Parents need to feel supported. “They need a pat on the back, to be told: ‘You’re doing great,’ ‘Good for you for being so patient,’ or ‘I know it’s not easy, but you’re a good parent,’” says psychoeducator Stéphanie Deslauriers.

And if you really want to understand what’s going on, Jessica has some advice: “Approach the situation with curiosity instead of judgment. Ask questions, because what you see is just the tip of the iceberg.”

Helping your child develop empathy

What should you do if your little one asks you questions about a neurodivergent child who acts differently than their peers? “The easiest thing to do is to tell them: ‘They’re just like you, except their brain works a little differently. So, they don’t always understand situations the same way you do,’” says special education teacher Claudia Maillé-Parent. She adds: “There are many children’s books out there that can help you talk about neurodivergence and differences with your child.”

It’s also an opportunity to help your little one develop empathy. “Remind your child of a time when they faced a challenge. Then draw a connection: ‘This is your friend’s challenge. How could you help them?’” suggests Stéphanie Deslauriers.

Normalizing differences

A better understanding of neurodivergence helps us avoid passing judgment. When we realize that an impulsive or agitated child is not “badly behaved” or “acting out,” we can better understand the challenges they face—and the challenges their parents face. “It’s easier to be empathetic and want to support them,” says teacher Claudia Maillé-Parent.

In addition, this allows you to help your child have better interactions with their peers. “Normalizing differences—no matter what they are—is good for all children, because all children will feel different at some point in their lives,” says Anouk Brière-Godbout.

Source: Naître et grandir magazine, September–October 2026 Research and copywriting: Amélie Cournoyer Scientific review: Solène Bourque, psychoeducator

Photos (in order): Nicolas St-Germain, Nicolas St-Germain, Getty Images/Lordn, Getty Images/SeventyFour