A child’s day is punctuated by routines: actions and events that are carried out in the same order every day, often at the same time. The more predictable your child’s day-to-day life is, the more secure they’ll feel.

A sense of security and autonomy

Routines help ensure that some of your child’s basic needs (sleep, hygiene, food, etc.) are met. But they also go beyond physical care. They also make your child feel secure and teach them to take care of their body and be more assertive.

Feeling safe

Clearly established routines are reassuring for a child because they let them know what to expect and give them a sense of time. For example, when a child knows the steps of their bedtime routine, it makes them feel safe. This helps them fall asleep more easily, since they need to be fully relaxed and calm to doze off.

You can talk to your child during their routines to help them put words to these rituals and understand their purpose. For example, you can say, “It feels better to have a full stomach!” or “It’s nice to have clean hands—they smell good!”

Developing autonomy

Through routines, a child gradually learns to take care of themself: how to go to the bathroom on their own, wash their hands, brush their teeth, get dressed, and so on. For example, with a morning routine, your child learns that they start their day by getting dressed, which is followed by eating breakfast and then brushing their teeth. Knowing what to do and in what order gives them a sense of control. In this way, they develop autonomy, which in turn gives them a sense of pride.

Discover why routines are a good way to teach your child to control their behaviour.

You also help your child develop autonomy when you allow them to make choices during routines. For example, you can suggest two sweaters and let your child pick which one to wear. Giving them options, however limited they may be, can encourage your little one to take a more active role in everyday decisions. Depending on their age, they might even be able to put their sweater on by themself. If not, you can let them try and then step in if they need a hand.

Letting your child get dressed at least partway on their own will help them improve their coordination skills. It will also make them feel proud to be able to do things with less and less help.

At daycare, routines help children develop their social skills. For example, they gradually learn to wait their turn to use the sink.

The secrets of a good routine

A practical way to set up routines for your little one is to choose key moments during the day. The most important ones include their morning routine (what they do to start their day) and their evening routine (what they do before bedtime). But it can also be useful to create routines around other daily activities, such as meals or tidying up after playtime.

Here are some tips for developing effective routines:

• Be consistent. Routines should be done the same way and at the same time every day. You and your child’s other parent have to agree to follow the same steps.
• Keep it simple. A routine shouldn’t have too many steps, otherwise your child will have a hard time remembering it.

Help your child develop good routines from morning to night. Download this Kittycat and friends routine!

• Be flexible. As your child gets older, you should adapt their routines to suit their age and ability. For example, if they’re now able to put their coat on by themself, consider adding this small task to their morning routine before daycare or school.
• Set a good example. Show your child that you have certain routines too! For example, when it’s time to clean up, you can tidy up the kitchen while your child puts their toys away.
• Involve your child. If your child feels like they have some say in their routine, they’ll be more willing to cooperate. For example, you can ask if they’d like to read a story before or after their bath. At the same time, they need to be aware that there are consequences to not following a routine. They should understand, for instance, that if they refuse to pick an outfit for the next day, you will decide on one for them.
• Make routines fun. To help your child remember and stick to a routine, try making a poster of it with fun illustrations for each step. You can also associate certain routines with songs. For example, you can sing the same song with your child whenever it’s time to clean up or wash their hands.

The benefits of school routines

Routines help children become organized and develop habits they can apply at school, such as getting dressed on their own before going outside, washing their hands after going to the bathroom, or putting their toys away after playtime.

Having routines at home will also make it easier for your child to follow instructions at school and get along with others. In addition, a child who has routines that make them feel safe and confident will be better able to learn in class.

Things to keep in mind

• Routines make your child feel safe and confident.
• If your child has routines at home, they’ll have an easier time following instructions at daycare or at school.
• It’s never too late to establish routines with your child.

Scientific review: Solène Bourque, psychoeducator Research and copywriting: The Naître et grandir team Updated: April 2018