Bringing baby home: What to expect

Bringing your baby home from the hospital or birthing centre is both an exciting and stressful time. We’ve put together a little guide to help you and your partner understand your emotions and better navigate the first few days at home with your child.

New parents’ emotions on returning home

Coming home and being alone with baby, without the supervision of hospital or birthing centre staff, can be disorienting for new parents. Many feel joy and relief while also being worried and stressed.

When does my baby need to feed? Are they getting too much sleep? Not enough sleep? Are they too hot or too cold? These questions can cause a lot of anxiety, and parents often feel isolated, unequipped, or guilty for not having the answers right away. In other moments, new parents feel more confident, and their home becomes a cozy place where they can enjoy their new role and start to bond with their baby.

Contradictory emotions like these are perfectly normal. It takes time to adjust to new life with an infant. This transition period, sometimes referred to as the fourth trimester, is different for every baby.

The myth of love at first sight

The myth of love at first sight is the belief that all parents, especially mothers, should feel love for their newborn right away. This can put a lot of pressure on parents, who may feel guilty for not experiencing an immediate bond.

In the moments after birth, parents may be exhausted, stressed, or dealing with the intense emotions they felt during pregnancy or childbirth. Rest assured that even if you don’t feel an instant surge of love for your child, your bond will develop gradually.

Read our fact sheet on the attachment bond to find out how this bond is established.

When childbirth was difficult

You may have spent nine months imagining the birth and how it would happen, but, for a variety of reasons, things didn’t go as planned. Maybe you didn’t get the support you’d hoped for, or maybe you’re upset about needing a medical intervention you didn’t expect. Or perhaps you or your baby needed immediate medical care, and you weren’t able to spend the first few minutes together in the way you’d hoped This kind of separation immediately after birth can be heartbreaking.

Some mothers experience real grief over missing out on their “ideal” childbirth scenario. If this happened to you, don’t hesitate to open up to your loved ones, and give yourself time. Acknowledging your suffering will help you better understand your emotions.

For more information on how to deal with this situation, read our fact sheet When childbirth doesn’t go as planned.

Who to ask for help

Having a network of family and friends can be a great help in the early stages of parenthood. When you and your partner feel overwhelmed or exhausted, someone from your entourage can come over and provide support, advice, and a chance to take some time for yourself (e.g., by looking after your other children). Draw up a list of friends and family before or just after giving birth, and let them know that you may contact them for help if you need it.

Not all new parents are fortunate enough to have a strong support network to turn to. If this is your situation, know that there are resources available to support new parents. For example, you can reach out to a community organization or your local CLSC. Nurses can also answer your questions up to seven days after you leave the hospital.

To find out who to ask for help, consult our list of resources to support parents (in French).

Pain, fatigue, and the baby blues

Bodies need time to recover after childbirth, and you may experience some pain or discomfort. If you do, know that it’s temporary. Even so, pain and discomfort can wear you out and make the return home challenging. Here are a few common postpartum symptoms:

• Afterpains, which are irregular, painful contractions that help the uterus return to its original size
• Heavy vaginal discharge at first (lochia), which can last several weeks
• Perineal or vaginal pain due to tearing, an episiotomy, or edema (swelling of the vulva)
• Urinary leakage caused by a weak pelvic floor, or difficulty urinating after anaesthesia
• Hemorrhoids and constipation
• Caesarean section scar pain

For more information, see our fact sheet on postpartum recovery.

Exhaustion

It’s completely natural to feel exhausted in the first days postpartum. The physical exertion of childbirth, hormonal upheaval, sleep deprivation, and adjusting to your new role as a parent all contribute to this fatigue. Most mothers feel exhausted in the first few weeks after giving birth, which can be frustrating and contribute to depression.

Your partner may also feel physically and emotionally worn out, although their symptoms may happen on a different timeline and look different than yours.

It’s important to be gentle with yourself and accept all the help you can get. Try to rest when your baby is sleeping, as difficult as that may be at times. Remember that this exhausting period won’t last forever.

The baby blues

The baby blues are the result of plummeting pregnancy hormone levels combined with increased stress and lack of sleep. The main symptom is rapid changes in mood. Baby blues usually surface three days after childbirth and can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. Mothers may burst into tears or feel incompetent, then suddenly have a good laugh, then become discouraged again.

In most cases, the baby blues resolve on their own. However, if you still feel down or overwhelmed after two weeks, or if you have little interest in your baby, you may have postpartum depression. In this case, it’s very important to consult a health care professional. In addition, the You, Me, Baby program provides strategies to support the mental health and well-being of expectant and new parents.

A difficult start to breastfeeding

Breastfeeding also requires an adjustment period. If you’re breastfeeding, it can take 4 to 6 weeks for you and your baby to feel comfortable during feeds. Some parents will find it easy. Others will struggle and their morale may take a hit. Give it time. As the days go by, you’ll gain a better understanding of your child’s needs, feeding patterns, and the ideal positions for both of you.

Your partner can support and encourage you in your breastfeeding journey. Read about breastfeeding (CHU Sainte-Justine’s AllaitWEB site is a great resource) to learn correct positioning and how to check that your baby is latching on well. Prepare in advance by identifying available support resources near you before you deliver. That way, you’ll be able to find qualified help if you need it.

You can also check out our fact sheets on breastfeeding basics and 6 common problems encountered when breastfeeding (in French).

Adjusting to baby’s arrival

Some parents may find this adjustment period easier than others. Prenatal courses can help you feel more in control once baby arrives. The size of your support network (friends and family, partner), the temperament of your newborn, and past experience with babies can also have an effect on how easy or difficult it is to adapt to life with your new baby.

Little by little, you’ll get to know your newborn and understand what makes them uncomfortable, which positions make them feel secure, their sleeping habits, and so on. You’ll get your bearings and find your footing as a family.

Your newborn’s adjustment period

Just like you, your baby needs time to adapt to their new reality. Leaving the warm, comforting body of their mother is undoubtedly a tough transition. What’s more, their adjustment period may be influenced by what happened during gestation and delivery.

Certain events, such as bleeding during pregnancy, can be very worrying for expectant mothers. Unborn babies actually feel this stress. During childbirth, interventions such as the use of forceps or an episiotomy can be uncomfortable or tiring for the baby. Although common, these experiences can make a newborn’s first moments a little more difficult.

When you try to understand how your baby is feeling, care for them with kindness, gentleness, and patience, and create an environment they feel safe in, they’ll have an easier time adjusting to their new surroundings.

For more information, read our fact sheet on newborn.

Why babies cry

Babies cry as a way to communicate. It’s how they tell you something’s wrong. Of course, figuring out exactly why they’re crying can be a challenge! Usually, newborns cry for one of these reasons:

• They’re hungry
• They’re tired
• They’re gassy (need to burp)
• Their diaper needs changing
• They’re in an uncomfortable position
• They’re hot or cold
• They need calm
• They’re in pain or sick
• They need reassurance, your presence, or a good cuddle

In most cases, responding to their discomfort will help calm your baby. You will probably need to try out several things to find what soothes and comforts your baby. Here are a few things to try, depending on the situation:

• Change your baby’s diaper
• Offer them the breast or a bottle
• Give them skin-to-skin contact
• Hold them close to you in a baby carrier or sling (babywearing)
• Move around with them, rock them, place their belly against your forearm 
• Softly sing or talk to them
• Pat or rub their back
• Swaddle them
• Give them a bath
• Change rooms, take them out in the stroller, or go for a car ride

Excessive crying, also known as colic, mainly occurs in the late afternoon or evening (usually between 6 and 10 p.m.). It affects 20% to 25% of infants. However, colic is rarely associated with a health problem (less than 5% of cases).

Your baby is not trying to manipulate or test you by crying. Their brain isn’t mature enough for that. If they cry, it’s because they need comfort, and it’s important to respond to their need.

However, if your baby won’t stop crying and you start to feel helpless and angry, take a break so you don’t lose control. Never shake your baby. Lay them down gently in their bed and go to another room to calm down.

For more information and to better understand your baby’s crying, read our fact sheet Why babies cry.

Your newborn’s sleep and feeding routine

During their first weeks at home, it’s normal for your baby’s sleeping and feeding routine to be very irregular. They don’t yet know the difference between day and night. Their waking periods are short, and they wake up at all hours to feed, especially if they are being breastfed.

In these early days, baby’s first feeds can last up to an hour. Your baby may also ask to feed more often at certain times of the day, especially in the evening, which is a more difficult time for some babies. For reference, a healthy newborn baby drinks at least 8 times every 24 hours if they are being fed commercial infant formula. If you’re breastfeeding, feed your baby “on demand,” without limiting the number or duration of feeds.

To find out how your baby’s sleep will evolve over the months, read our fact sheet on babies and sleep.

Health problems: When should you consult?

If your newborn has any of the following symptoms, call Info-Santé 811 or consult a health care professional as soon as possible:

• A rectal temperature of 38°C or higher
• Projectile or repeated vomiting
• Diarrhea
• White, gray, or pale beige stools
• Drowsiness or sleep that lasts longer than usual
• Difficulty breathing
• Signs of umbilical cord infection
• Difficulty feeding or less than 8 feeds in 24 hours
• Decrease in urination and bowel movements
• A skin rash (bumps) that doesn’t go away after a few days, or that weeps or bleeds.

For more answers to your questions, check out our fact sheets on baby’s health (in French).

Caring for your baby

When you lovingly care for your baby, the attachment bond between the two of you grows. The small, everyday things you do for them (feeding, diaper changes, etc.) are opportunities to connect and strengthen your bond.

Communicating with your little one by talking to them, stroking them, and making eye contact as you go about your routines is an excellent way to reassure baby and help them discover the world around them.

Take the time to observe your baby. Doing so can give you a ton of information about their unique personality and condition. For example, signs of sleepiness can be different from one infant to the next. By observing your baby, you’ll learn to recognize signs that they are hungry, uncomfortable, need a snuggle, and more, and will be better able to respond to their needs.

To learn more, read our fact sheet Understanding your baby.

Comforting your baby

Often, the best way to soothe a newborn is to recreate the living environment they had in their mother’s womb. Try:

• Swaddling or wrapping them.
• Babywearing over clothing or skin-on-skin. In this position, baby hears your heartbeat, senses your breathing, and smells your scent, and identifies you as a safe, familiar person.
• Bathing them. Being in the water is very soothing for your baby. For the best experience, choose a basin with a flat bottom or a slight slope. This way, your baby’s shoulders will be in the water and they will be able to bring their hands closer to their mouth.

Being responsive to your baby

Your newborn needs to feel that they can count on you to comfort them, reassure them, and respond to their needs with tenderness. This means that you need to make yourself available as much as possible, taking the time to be fully present with your baby. To do this, it’s best to avoid distractions, like your phone or the TV.

Be careful not to force an activity that your baby doesn’t seem ready for. You may have the best intentions in wanting to get them involved in all kinds of activities, such as stimulation workshops. But try to respect their rhythm. When you do, you’ll gain much more satisfaction and confidence in your parenting skills.

To find out more, read our complete feature on attachment.

How to make adjustment easier in the first few weeks

Here are a few tips to ensure that the return home follows a rhythm that works for you, your partner, and your newborn:

• Ask for help. Family, friends, and community organizations can support you and make this stage of your life as stress-free as possible. Whether they care for baby for awhile, do housework, bring over groceries, or share advice, leaning on your network can give you a chance to rest, grow in confidence, and focus on what’s important.
• Work as a team. Sharing tasks and responsibilities with your partner will allow you to better enjoy time with your baby or relax.
• Sleep when your little one sleeps ... as much as possible! This is advice we often hear from parents. Recuperating while your newborn naps is beneficial for your mental health.
• Don’t force yourself to socialize. Even when well intentioned, having people over requires preparation and can be tiring. Give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to non-essential visitors, so that you can enjoy your return home in peace and quiet.
• Be patient with your other children. They too need to find their place in the new family dynamic. Why not involve them in caring for their new sibling? It will help them bond. Try to set aside some time with your other children, without baby, so that everyone gets special one-on-one time with you.
• Write down your questions or concerns before the CLSC nurse’s visit to make sure you don’t forget anything.
• Don’t hesitate to call Info-Santé 811 if you’re concerned about your health, or the health of your partner or baby.

Things to keep in mind

• It takes time to adapt to life at home with baby. Your new family balance will gradually fall into place.
• It’s normal to experience a lot of emotions. Stress, fatigue, joy, and sadness are all part of learning to be a parent.
• The tender loving care you give your baby and the time you spend together, without distractions, will create a strong and stable bond with your child.

Research and copywriting:The Naître et grandir team Scientific review: Marie-Josée Martel, PhD, full professor of nursing and regular researcher at the Centre d’études interdisciplinaires sur le développement de l’enfant at UQTR January 2026

Photos: FatCamera and miljko