By the Naître et grandir team

When your child tells you they’re afraid, it’s important to take them seriously. Avoid teasing or questioning them; their fear is real, even if to you it seems silly or unreasonable. At the same time, be careful not to overreact or become overprotective, as this will only reinforce their fear.

Instead, try to be calm and reassuring. Help your child put their emotions into words so they can name what they’re afraid of, and never force them to face their fears before they’re ready.

Once you feel your child is up to it, help them slowly confront their fears. They’ll gradually start to feel less afraid as their sense of security grows. Celebrate every bit of progress to give them the confidence to keep facing their fears.

Read on for more tips on helping your child work through specific fears.

Costumed characters can seem intimidating and imposing to a child. Your little one may not be able to tell whether they’re safe to approach. What can you do to help?

• Prepare your child ahead of time.
  If you’re going to see Santa, explain that he’s friendly and that sometimes, kids like to sit on his lap to talk to him. Read books or look at pictures together so the character becomes more familiar.
• Don’t force your child to go up to Santa, a clown, or a team mascot.
  Let them observe from a distance so they can get used to these strange figures.
• If your child is scared, don’t hand them to the person in costume, even if it’s just for a quick photo. Instead, pick up your child and go up to them together, without making any physical contact.
• Sit on Santa’s lap yourself.
  For some kids, this will take away some of their fear and may even make them laugh.
• Trust the ripple effect of other kids.
  Seeing their big sister walk up to Santa, a clown, or a mascot may encourage your child to do the same.

Costumed characters can seem intimidating and imposing to a child. Your little one may not be able to tell whether they’re safe to approach. What can you do to help?

• Prepare your child ahead of time.
  If you’re going to see Santa, explain that he’s friendly and that sometimes, kids like to sit on his lap to talk to him. Read books or look at pictures together so the character becomes more familiar.
• Don’t force your child to go up to Santa, a clown, or a team mascot.
  Let them observe from a distance so they can get used to these strange figures.
• If your child is scared, don’t hand them to the person in costume, even if it’s just for a quick photo. Instead, pick up your child and go up to them together, without making any physical contact.
• Sit on Santa’s lap yourself.
  For some kids, this will take away some of their fear and may even make them laugh.
• Trust the ripple effect of other kids.
  Seeing their big sister walk up to Santa, a clown, or a mascot may encourage your child to do the same.

Many children experience nighttime fears, as their imaginations can run wild in the dark. What can you do to help?

• Reassure your child that monsters don’t exist in real life, only in books and movies. You can check once under the bed with them, but no more than that. If you do it every time, you’re sending the message that there’s a reason to be afraid. You can also tell your child that you’ll come check on them when they’re asleep to make sure everything is okay.
• Establish a calm bedtime routine to make your child feel secure, such as a bath followed by a story.
• Place a small night light in your child’s room and give them the choice to use it or not. You can also give them a flashlight to keep by their bed.
• If your child wakes up scared in the middle of the night, go comfort them right away and listen to them without interrupting. Then, help them understand the difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary. It may also help to take your child to the bathroom or to get them some water to distract them. If they’re still anxious, you can lie down with them in bed until they calm down. However, don’t make a habit of doing this every time, as it may reinforce their fear.

Many children experience nighttime fears, as their imaginations can run wild in the dark. What can you do to help?

• Reassure your child that monsters don’t exist in real life, only in books and movies. You can check once under the bed with them, but no more than that. If you do it every time, you’re sending the message that there’s a reason to be afraid. You can also tell your child that you’ll come check on them when they’re asleep to make sure everything is okay.
• Establish a calm bedtime routine to make your child feel secure, such as a bath followed by a story.
• Place a small night light in your child’s room and give them the choice to use it or not. You can also give them a flashlight to keep by their bed.
• If your child wakes up scared in the middle of the night, go comfort them right away and listen to them without interrupting. Then, help them understand the difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary. It may also help to take your child to the bathroom or to get them some water to distract them. If they’re still anxious, you can lie down with them in bed until they calm down. However, don’t make a habit of doing this every time, as it may reinforce their fear.

Your child may be afraid of insects and spiders because of their strange appearance. Perhaps they’ve been stung or bitten before and now think that all bugs are out to get them. What can you do to help?

• Encourage your child to view insects and spiders with curiosity and gradually expose them to bugs in their environment. For example, take a moment to observe ants carrying food back to their colony or a spider spinning its web. You could also take your child to an insectarium.
• Help your child get used to the bug that scares them. Find a picture book about it that you can read together. If possible, observe it in its natural environment.
• Ask your child to describe exactly what it is about the bug that scares them. If you understand their fear better, you can give them the information they need to feel less afraid.
• Let your child invent pretend bug killers or traps. This is their way of gaining a sense of control over their “enemy.”

When a child witnesses a natural disaster or tragic event in person or on the news, it’s normal for them to feel afraid. What can you do to help?

• Help your child name their fears. Talking to them about their emotions and worries can help ease their fears. If your child is afraid of a natural disaster, for example, ask them to describe what it is that worries them.
• Stay calm and keep your answers simple. Use age-appropriate language and limit your answers to the questions they ask. Avoid giving details that could add to their fears.
• Offer reassurance and understanding. If they’re worried about a rare situation, explain that it’s not something that happens very often. Remind them that you’re there to protect them and that they can count on you.
• Explain that help and support is available for people affected by natural disasters and other tragedies. For example, you can explain that when a forest fire or flooding forces people to evacuate, they are taken in by other people or stay at their local community centre until it’s safe to return home.
• Avoid exposing your child to violent or disturbing images. Limit their screen time and be vigilant about what they watch.
• Try to calm your own fears when a disaster occurs. If your child senses that you’re anxious, they may become even more fearful.

Source: Naître et grandir magazine, November–December 2024 Research and copywriting:The Naître et grandir team Interviews by Amélie Cournoyer Scientific review: Annie Goulet, psychologist

Photos: GettyImages/PeopleImages, GettyImages/Motortion, Nicolas St-Germain, GettyImages/Lightfield Studios, Nicolas St-Germain, GettyImages/Lightfield Studios, Nicolas St-Germain, and GettyImages/ilkercelik