In theory, a new mom can both nourish and seduce. But in practice, it’s not always so simple!
“When I was breastfeeding my son, I felt like my breasts belonged to him,” says Florence-Élyse, 2-year-old Alexandre Xavier’s mom. “My partner didn’t dare touch my breasts anymore. And they no longer had a sexual connotation for me either.” Many couples feel the same way. Because the purpose of breasts is to feed the baby, they don’t see how they can also serve as erogenous zones.
As breastfeeding can also fill a woman’s need for tenderness, the father may sometimes feel excluded from this special relationship between mother and child. Also, fathers are sometimes moved by seeing their partner nurse their baby. Whatever you feel, the important thing is to talk about it and to maintain your physical contact. This will help deepen both your relationship and your intimacy. It’s also reassuring to remember that this double-role your breasts are playing will not last forever!
Breastfeeding can also affect mom’s interest in sex. Her breasts may be more sensitive, and even painful, when full of milk. “Breastfeeding also increases a hormone (prolactin), which lowers a woman’s sex drive and causes vaginal dryness,” explains sex therapist and psychologist Michel Campbell. For more comfort, you can use a lubricant. And rest assured that these effects disappear when you stop breastfeeding, and sometimes even before.
Milk that spontaneously leaks during orgasm can also disturb couples in the heat of the action. To avoid discomfort, some women wear a bra and breast pads during intercourse. But others find, on the contrary, that it adds a bit of spice to sex. “The taste of my milk would turn Patrick on,” says Gabrielle. “It made me feel better because it would relieve my engorged breasts.”
Talking about the situation with your partner and continuing to show affection for each other through simple gestures will help rekindle your sex life.
Pregnancy, breastfeeding and having children in the house can lower your sex drive. This situation is common and often temporary.
Maintaining communication and physical contact through simple acts helps nurture your intimacy and slowly reawaken your sex life.
Having a child can help bring you closer, as long as you accept that your couple and sex life will change.