Conceiving in pleasure

Conceiving in pleasure
Making love to conceive a child is often an exciting time, but for some couples, it can become a source of stress…

Making love to conceive a child is often an exciting time, but for some couples, it can become a source of stress…

“When we wanted to have a child, we would make love every day during my ovulation period,” says Angelica, mother to 2 girls aged 1 month and 3 years old. Her partner, Olivier, has an excellent memory of that time! “It was a game. We didn’t put any pressure on ourselves,” he says. Choosing to get pregnant can be exciting. The partners make plans to have sex and look forward to it with anticipation.

But not all couples conceive in pleasure. Since they want to become parents quickly, some leave less room for spontaneity. For example, they calculate their exact moment of ovulation to accurately plan their intimate rendezvous. Others choose positions that make getting pregnant easier. Some couples also make sure the woman reaches orgasm before the man to speed up the sperm’s journey to the ovule. “It’s true that these practices increase the chances of conceiving,” says Viola Polomeno, University of Ottawa professor and specialist in perinatal sexuality, an area of study that looks closely at the intimacy between couples before and after the birth of a child. But putting pressure on yourselves to make love, have an erection or reach orgasm doesn’t help you get there.

Specialists recommend not over-planning the birth of a baby (e.g.: I need to get pregnant in October because we want to have the baby in the summer).

“In the end, all these tricks can ruin the moment for the partners,” says sex therapist Sylvie Lavigueur. Having sex to conceive can also put the focus on loving each other, which can heighten your sexual attraction to each other. Couples who want lovemaking to result in a baby are therefore better off relaxing and forgetting about getting pregnant for the moment, concentrating instead on eroticism and seduction.

It’s true that the longer it takes to conceive, the more worrying it can be for couples, which may lead them to try different things. But it’s good to remember that it sometimes takes a few months of practice before the woman gets pregnant. Unless you have an obvious fertility problem (e.g.: absence of ovulation), doctors recommend trying to conceive for 1 year before consulting. Before then, the only thing that matters is having fun!