Am I the cause?

Am I the cause?
If you come back home in a bad mood every night and are quick to lose patience with your child, it’s possible that you’re transferring some of your stress onto her.

Sometimes we are unwittingly the source of our child’s stress. Pierrich Plusquellec suggests that parents question their own behaviours. “Do your children feel that you’re unpredictable? If that’s the case, the fix is simply letting your child know what’s on the agenda, whether it’s her bath in five minutes or a drive in the car, and respecting her routines,” says the researcher.

“If your child feels stressed because she has no control over you or her life, you can give her some. She can choose what’s on the menu once a week, what she’ll wear or when to play with you. If your child feels her ego is threatened, it might not be a bad idea to take a closer look at how you react and give her opportunities to develop self-esteem. Telling her that you love her and value her, and spending time with her are all great ways of doing that,” says Plusquellec.

So if you’re experiencing a stressful period at work, if you come back home in a bad mood every night and are quick to lose patience with your child, it’s possible that you’re transferring some of your stress onto her. By recognizing your own stress, you’ll be in a better position to help your child cope with hers, since you’ll know which N.U.T.S. ingredient is triggering the reaction (Novelty, Unpredictability, a Threat to the ego, or a poor Sense of control).